I had the worst night ever.
A went out with his friends. I was doing all right at home until one of A's friends rang me to say that they lost him. I tried ringing A and I got no answer, so I rang his friend back, and someone different picked up and said they hadn't found him.
After that, every time I rang him or his friends I got no answer. I kept imagining the worst. Like he got mugged, or got so drunk he passed out somewhere without his friends noticing. Or he was picking someone up and his friends didn't want to be the ones to tell me. Or he hurt himself badly and his friends didn't want to tell me about it over the phone. And then I started thinking about how I would cope without him around.
I ended up getting three hours of sleep, and spent most of the night balling my eyes out. I woke up at 6.30 am and started balling again. All I could think about was how when A left, I didn't even look up from what I was doing.
I don't suppose any of his friends would understand why I felt as bad as I did. When you've never been this emotionally invested in someone before, it's difficult to understand. A isn't just my boyfriend, he's my best friend, and my carer. Most of all, he's my family.
After all that it was just a stupid reason that he got lost, and none of his friends even bothered ringing me back to tell me they'd found him.
I have a 21st to go to tonight. I've been saving up my energy all week to go to it, and now I don't know if I'll even be able to go because I got so little sleep last night and my body's drained from being both miserable and stressed.
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Hey I want to apologise for my part in everything that happened on that night you didn't deserve it. Sorry we didn't call you back as soon as we knew A was alright. The person who called you from my phone stupidly lost it as soon straight after they made it (I didn't even know they had made a call for a while) and I didn't find it till the house cleanup the next day (my phone is really bad and it nearly always turns off making it basically impossible to find). Know body had your number except me and A forgot his pin or something, quite a shambles really.
Also you are wrong when you said that know body knew how you felt. While the people who called you probably didn't understand how much that call would stress you out I was annoyed and wanted to call you straight back only to find they had lost it! When I saw the message from you the next day it (sent at 6:21AM!) I straight away knew you had trouble sleeping and I felt so bad...
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