I've been inspired to give this blog a proper go. I'm going to try writing in it daily. I hope it'll help both you and me understand the illness better.
A lot has happened since my last post in November. I got a cat.
This might sound like trivial news, but I can't express just how un-trivial it is. My cat helped me when no-one else could. Animals don't judge, and they're always around when you need them.
I got upset when some people told me to stop talking about my cat. No-one -- apart from my boyfriend and carer whom we will call "A" -- knew how depressed I got. I cried all day, every day; about nothing, and everything. I felt completely out of control, I couldn't see myself ever recovering from CFS, and nobody was helping me. My cat pulled me out of a hole that was getting very deep and very dark. And I don't think anyone else could have done it. And yet, people were telling me to stop being so happy about my cat. How could I, when I had nothing else to be happy about?
I don't believe antidepressants have improved my situation. Mainly because I wasn't depressed when I got chronic fatigue. To me, that means depression wasn't the cause of my chronic fatigue. And how can you treat something without targetting the cause? It's all a bit hit and miss to me. In any case, I only started to improve when my cat, "M", got here.