OK, so today was pretty shit. Last night I couldn't sleep until 3.30 am because it was so cold. When I did fall asleep, I coughed myself awake again.
Usually, I'm groggy in the morning, but today it lasted the entire day. My whole body has been aching, and fatigue is so bad that I feel like I have muscles made of lead.
But the thing that really set me off was a Facebook message I got from one of my cousins. She said "I hope this email finds you better if not already well :)", which is relatively a harmless statement. But I just can't get over how many messages I've gotten lately that are along the lines of "So, I take it you're better now."
I just feel like it's really rude to not have spoken to someone for ages, and then only contact them because they have something you want. You might think I'm being negative, but this is about the only outside contact I've had with anyone for a while.
Partly, it's my fault. I developed anxiety issues that my doctor isn't helping me with, and the only solution I can find is to just take a break from visitors...
And I guess, I was just surprised at how easy it was to just disappear. I mean, my friends have been supportive about this whole thing. But at the same time, I feel as though they've been supportive from quite a distance.
And then I realised, maybe we weren't ever that close after all.
I have a lot of problems to fix.
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2 comments:
One thing I've noticed with illnesses like CFS and others is that there's some sort of stigma(for want of a better word) attached to them. Whether it stems from lack of education or the fact that people aren't able to empathise with a situation that they have never experienced I don't know. But one thing I do know is that once it's all over you'll definitely know who your good friends are because they'll still be still standing by your side. Consider it something to look forward to.
A very good point. :) Also, I've been pleasantly surprised by random acts of kindness from people I don't know very well. They restore my faith in the human race, hehe.
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