Leaps and bounds

I've moved forward in leaps and bounds today, I think. I hope.

There have been ongoing problems between me and A's parents. From the moment they met me, they've had something against me.

I've tried so hard to fit in. I try to be polite, I try not to get in the way up at the farm, I go on lots of horse rides with A's mum (we're lucky in that horse riding's a passion for both of us), I help out at the farm in any way I can.

But nothing I do is ever good enough. Nearly every time I've visited the farm, A's mum has found a reason to have a go at me. And it's usually uncalled for.

The kind of rudeness I experience is difficult to explain without sounding like I'm exaggerating. It's also difficult to explain it in one sitting, much less over the Internet. So, I'll try, but it might be something you'll begin to understand over time.

Anyway, today, Al's mum rang and said she didn't think it's a good idea for us to get a car together. Somehow it spiralled into an argument about me and A staying in a relationship.

I figured A's mum didn't understand chronic fatigue very well, but I didn't realise just how uninformed she is. Apparently she said that other people with chronic fatigue still go out lots, and she can't see why I can't just accept that I'll have it for the rest of my life.

She doesn't realise that with chronic fatigue, the severity of the symptoms can vary from person to person. And at the moment, I have it pretty bad. At my worst, there were times when I had to crawl to get to the bathroom. Going out is difficult for me.

And I'm surprised that she thinks I should just accept that I'll have CFS for the rest of my life. How could I? As a strong-willed working woman, I don't think she would accept it either.

Anyway, they had their argument, and A rang his dad later to see where he stood in the argument. A's dad did ask if A felt trapped. A replied saying that he feels as though he always has the option to leave. I've always said that if A decides he can't handle it anymore, no one's going to think any less of him. He's already done way more than enough to help.

A also said to his dad that I'd spent the last two days in bed. And A's dad said he didn't realise it was that bad. I think A's dad could be beginning to understand the situation a little bit better. It might be a small step, but it's still a step forward.

But the thing I learnt most from this situation is that I started to see it from a parent's point of view. They're just looking out for their kid. I'm just disappointed that they jumped to the conclusion that I was just doing this for attention so I could "trap" A.

And I'm even more hurt that they managed to taint the views of A's brother, and one of my friends.

Two steps forward, one step back, I guess.