What's the right thing to do?

I wish the answers to all decisions were obvious.

The decision I was faced with this weekend was whether or not to see a movie with A and J on Friday.

I went; and I think healthwise, it was a mistake. It's put me out of action for the whole weekend. Today, I had to force myself to go out, because if I didn't go out today, I would have been stuck at home for another week until A's free enough to take me out again. Now all my symptoms have flared up: more aching, more joint pain, extreme fatigue, and so on.

But what would have happened if I didn't go to the movie? I wouldn't have been able to catch up with J, and I would have missed out on having a good time. Going to the movie was a great step towards getting over my fear of social situations. So in that way, it wasn't a mistake to go.

And yet here I am, having to deal with my worsened symptoms. It seems like there's no right answer. I can't ever seem to do the right thing. Whatever I did would have resulted in something bad. I went, and so I've had to give up the whole weekend. If I didn't go, I wouldn't have been able to make a huge step towards overcoming my fear of social situations. I feel like these days, my life is riddled with forks in the road where both paths lead to something bad. It's really difficult to stay positive when everything in your life seems to be structured that way.